How do I even begin to describe how I feel?
I don't know that I even can.
How does one feel so out of control without being out of control?
How does one feel so confused sans delirium?
Is this unconsciously fabricated?
Or am I somehow an observer of myself?
I feel as though I am totally cognizant of what's going on in my mind.
I just can't describe it for the life of me.
All I know is that I don't feel stable.
I don't feel in control.
I want to scream and cry, yet I remain stoic.
I feel an intense desire to just give up.
But something inside me holds a flicker of hope.
I just wonder if I will ever get over how destructive this disorder is to my education.
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