... and scared.
Of what? I'm not completely sure.
I'm definitely stressed about college.
Assignments are just piling up.
But why?
Because I am dazed and confused.
In a word, depressed.
Depressing bares down on me with all its strength, crushing me.
It is unyielding, persistent.
Why?
Why, I ask.
I spend my days performing easy, unimportant tasks.
The important ones looming.
I am a tutor who knows a lot about study strategy.
Yet somehow, I just can't do it.
Can I do this?
With a vehement core, I feel like I cannot.
Just every, single, day... I sit without a purpose, without a feeling, without inspiration.
Just dazed, dazed...
Though I am logically coherent, I feel otherwise incoherent.
Dizzy, even though the room is not spinning.
Lightheaded, even though I don't feel faint.
And simple confused, even though my logic says I ought not to be.
This monster, it is not logical.
This monster, it is not clear.
This monster, it is not concise.
This monster... it is not me.
Success, dreams, all being sapped away.
For this monster is always hungry.
If only I could end my own suffering.
It is truly my own hell.
